A Fathers Hands

It is said that the eyes are the gateway to our soul. And I would have agreed with that until about a month ago. Daddy was sick and in the hospital. He had become so weak from that stupid cancer, that he was not able to scoot up in the bed. When the nurses aides came in to help him, one of the ladies said "Look at his hands! He is a big strong man." I thought of all the places those hands have been. Tender enough to hold a newborn baby, yet strong enough to fight for our country. Soft enough to hold my Mom, yet strong enough to fight corruption and drug dealers. I watched Daddy rebuild old cars, take care of "the ugliest dog in the world" (Missy the wonder dog!), plant a garden, and cheer me on in whatever adventure I was embarking. On our way home from fishing all day (where he baited my hook EVERY time), we came up on a serious car accident. Daddy was one of the first people to reach the victims. Mom and I stayed in the truck. When the paramedics arrived, Daddy got back in the truck and said "That poor woman is gonna wake up and wonder why her mouth tastes like worm poop." Those hands that baited my hook had just saved a complete strangers life. His hands held mine at my wedding. He placed my hand in the hands of Sam. He held Jana Lee and Jori when they were just a few minutes old. He lived out his love for family, and by that example Sam is living it out in our family. I can't help but think of all that Jesus' hands did. The hands that were nailed to a cross for me and for Daddy. Because He did that, I know that one day my Daddy will hold my hand again. At the end of his life our roles changed. I held Daddy's hand and prayed over him. Those big, strong hands are resting with Jesus now. And I will forever be grateful that the last words he said to me were "I love you". I love you Daddy and I am looking forward to the day you take my hand and we walk the streets of Heaven.

Memories...

This weekend I had the privilege of celebrating the life of my great Uncle Bill Linton. He was one of my grandmothers (Mum) brothers. Uncle Bill was always a very unique individual. And as such, his memorial was unique. Friends and family gathered to share laughs and tears as we remembered his life. There were a few things that I took away from this time. He was 84 years and truly part of the greatest generation. He came from a generation that didn't believe in disposable or throwing away things (As Andy can attest!). I saw friends of his from his childhood. How amazing is that? One of his "new" friends had only know him about 50 years and spoke of many old memories as well as recent ones. He recalled fishing trips and funny stories. He told of taking Uncle Bill back to his favorite fishing spot in the last months of his life. They didn't fish, they just looked around and took it all in. I pray that when my time on earth is done that I will have friends like that. Perhaps more importantly, I hope that I will be that kind of friend. I watched my grandmother laugh and giggle with her brothers and sisters. I saw what true hospitality is like. Aunt Doris opened her home and everyone felt like they could stay forever. I saw the rose bush that I remembered from Great Grandma Linton's home. Grandma Linton has been in Heaven for over 20 years, but when I saw the rose bush and smelled that sweet smell, it was like being a little girl again. And Mum explained how I could take a cutting from that very bush and have my own piece of Grandma Linton's roses just by using a mason jar! And you better believe I am going to do just that! I watched people from all the different times of Uncle Bill's life come together and just share. A jewel of wisdom that I will treasure and remind myself of came from Aunt Georgia (Mum's sister). We were on our way to see Mum's new home and she made the comment that "We all make choices that we regret or are not the best, but no matter what we are family. Nothing can change that." Wise words to remember and live by. And the rainbow I saw on my way home...just like a smile from above.

Well, the most exciting part of today was...I GOT NEW JEANS!!! Yep, I'm pretty excited about that. If you saw my Facebook post last night, then you know I was whining that I need a makeover. Or as my good friend Janice said "I need a What-Not-To-Wear makeover"! I was down to one pair of "mom" jeans. And Mom jeans are just not as cool when you ARE the mom. Oh, and I ordered a FitBit. I have said for years that if I just had one of those arm thingies like they have on The Biggest Loser then I would automatically lose weight. I'll let you know how this works out.


Some things The Lord is teaching me:

*Trust...in His timing, in His will, in all aspects of my life. Not gonna lie, this is tough. I am a "fixer". When someone shares a problem with me, I am about 3 steps ahead trying to make it right. It's not always my job to fix things OR people.

*Don't be quick to judge. This one is hard to admit that I still struggle with. I like to come across as open minded and always seeing the good, but I know for a fact that I have missed out on some great moments because I was quick to decide that something wasn't for me. Lord, let me see with your eyes.


There are many others, but since I flat out admitted that I am stumbling over these I think I will concentrate on these two.
Specific prayer needs:

1. Angela ~ the doctors only know what our Father shows them. I am believing that He will show them what COMPLETE healing looks like!
2. Daddy ~ he is continuing Chemo and has scans next week.
3. Jana Lee ~ Order her steps and prepare the hearts of everyone she will come in contact with in Zambia
4. Me ~ He knows my hearts desires.

Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite! (that last part is really gross!)

Random thoughts of a momma

There are so many things just flying though my head. It kind of reminds me of one of those old school video games, lights and pings going all over. Today is the funeral of a young man that I only knew through his job at Fred's. Why cant I get him off my heart? Maybe because I say that I will miss seeing him. Or could it be regrets that once again I am left to wonder "did I do all that I could/should have to reach out to him". Or is it empathy for his parents who have to go on without him? Maybe I am scared that one day that will be me...Have I REALLY shown my people how much I love them? Or am I so busy worrying and stressing that I forget to embrace each moment of every day? I always have such great intentions, but I have trouble actually following through. Anyone else feel that way? I want to do great things, but some days I just get through. I want to have a "bucket list". Sometimes getting to the end of the day is enough. But I want more! I want more time, more motivation, less fear of failure. So many things I wish I could do over...regrets. But you know what? Today is a brand new day! I am alive, I am a daughter of the King, my family is safe, I have my home, I have a job that I love and by golly I am going to make the most of this! Lamentations 3:22-24 New Living Translation (NLT) 22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends![a] His mercies never cease. 23 Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. 24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” He is true to His promises. I WILL hold on to that secret promise He has given me. Waiting and watching...

I've been thinking about the Soaring Wings Half Marathon a lot. I have asked myself "why in the world do you think a fat, 50 year old woman who has NEVER done anything sporty. would be able to suddenly do a half marathon?!?" Well, here is why. It is something that I have actually wanted to do for a very long time. But, I am notorious for "wanting" to do something and when it actually comes down to it, I'm like "Eeeh I would rather just sit here and creep around on Facebook". Just being honest here. My "running career" started back in 1980 when I was actually in pretty good shape. I decided to run to my BFF's house about 3 miles away. I was going to say it was 13.1 miles away, but then I remembered the honest comment. :) About half way there I was chased by dang dogs! Not to mention that the road from my house to hers wasn't paved yet. I make it to her house and minor detail, I forgot to tell her I was coming so she was just leaving. I'm pretty sure it was a hot date, because remember this was 1980 and we were HOTTIES! Well, what's a girl to do? I turned around and headed back to my house. Remember that dirt road? I was running along minding my own business and I see this guy coming towards me. Woo Hoo another crazy person running in the middle of nowhere in the crazy Texas summer heat! When he was about 100 yards from me, something hits my head. I look up and it is a psycho blue jay dive bombing me! I start screaming (a perfectly normal reaction by any 17 year old girl) and flailing my arms. The darn thing wont leave me alone! I end up rolling around in the ditch trying to get away from this demon possessed bird. When I finally got myself together and crawled back to the road, here comes the other runner. And of course he never saw that spawn of satan bird. Just gave me one of "those" looks. So, yea that was the beginning and end of my running career. I haven't really wanted to do any running/walking since then. But then I met John Allison. What an inspiration! But the real clincher was when he showed the 121 students the Marine Corp Marathon medal. OMG I had medal envy! But that's all it was, envy. No action. But that medal has been in the back of my mind for a couple of years. Fast forward to Faulkner County Relay for Life. For a donation to American Cancer Society I could walk 29 laps around the expo center and GET A MEDAL!!! Woo Hoo, sign me up I said. And I did it in flip flops. And I met another very wise and kind person Jackie Pollard. She didn't know me from Adam. What she should have seen was a fat almost 50 year old woman, but what she actually saw was potential. Sometimes it takes the kind words of a stranger to get you moving! So here I am. I have been thinking about this medal obsession a lot. How many of us are willing to work so hard for rewards and medals here on earth, but hardly give a second thought to Heavenly rewards? Before anyone corrects me, I KNOW it isn't all about the jewels and crowns, but I really want to be able to lay my crown/medal at the feet of Jesus. So, see this half marathon is about way more than just running/walking and the medals. In my heart it is even more than the money and awareness raised for Soaring Wings (which is HUGE). It's about doing something just because someone believed in me. All of life should be that way, after all, our Father believed in us enough to send His Son to die for me. So, that is all I have to say about that.