Well, we just celebrated our first Thanksgiving in our new home! Was it all that I had dreamed of? No...but this is what it was. REAL and TRUE and US. Sometimes we set our selves up for such tremendous disappointment when we spend to much time on social media. I can't be the only one that doesn't have the perfect holiday deocorations (or any for that matter). Our society tells us that everyone else has it together and we are utter failures. I can't imagine planning a wedding or baby in this Pinterest saturated world we live in. What social media does not tell us is all those perfect images are NOT REAL. Yes, some are true, but I would venture to say that even the most "put together" family pic had some epic fails and tears. Is it worth it? YES, but this life requires grace and mercy. My daughter told me about going to eat by herself (not unusual when you are single and live on your own) on some commercially significant holiday. She is never self conscious about this, but this particular time she felt like she should announce "No, I am not an orphan and I do love my Mother, but we are not about traditions!" What we are is REAL. So, what I am saying is MAKE YOUR OWN TRADITIONS. They may not make sense to anyone but you, but they will be treasured. I would post pictures of our Thanksgiving feast, but we didn't take a single one. That is one thing I am going to work on for next time. But today I am going to wear my new yoga pants and eat pie. GRACE and MERCY people! My two words for 2016 and I have just decided to carry them over to 2017!
Saturday, November 26, 2016
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
A lesson in grace and endurance
I hope all of these random thoughts in my head come out in some sort of order...
Have you ever heard a story and thought "that will never happen to me!" I hope for your sake that you didn't actually say it. But if you did, hold on because you will hear those words over and over. At least that is what happened to me. I specifically remember that moment. A local gospel singing group was at our church. One of the ladies teared up and said "pray for my son. He is sitting in jail facing drug charges. And pray even harder for your own kids. If you think it can't happen, let me tell you something. He got started down this dark path right up the street at Vilonia High School." My heart hurt for her, but I distinctly remember thinking "I'm so glad I don't have to worry about that. My girls are at church every time the doors open." And we were. Fast forward about 4 years. Looking back, I see signs of what was coming. Jori, my baby, was becoming more independent and always seemed to have one foot over the line. A very compassionate and caring teacher had called me about a month earlier. He was worried about Jori. He was seeing changes in her that were not good. He told me he was praying for her. (Step 1 that I know the lord was carrying us). February 9, 2012 she crossed that line. She had completely lost sight of who she was and she tried to take her life. As I rode in the front of that ambulance, I remembered my exact prayer that morning. "Lord, I give her back to you. Take care of her and no matter what it takes, bring her to a relationship with you." She made the decision that she needed inpatient treatment. She went to Bridgeway for 5 days. As gut wrenching as that was, we knew she wasn't healed. The Lord knew...In September 2012, she failed a random drug test at school...meth. She was sent to jeuvenile detention. I couldn't call her. All we could was pray. Again, He was faithful. The officer prayed with her. The next 3 years were up and down. Every single day I said "she belongs to you Lord". I'm going to be honest, it was a long time before I could pray "whatever it takes". It is still hard and I know how this turns out. I clung to lucid happy moments. I cried and agonized when I knew she was getting high. I begged and pleaded with God to deliver her. I read every book and blog about prodigal children that I could find. Through it all, the Lord sent people to lift us up and help carry the burden. I journaled every prayer and every victory and setback. I clung to Jeremiah 31:15-18. I knew she would be delivered, I just didn't know how or when. January 1,2016 at 4:20 am she started on the road to deliverance. That road began in the Faulkner County Jail with drug charges. I heard my singing friend saying "pray." I couldn't pray. I was numb and terrified. She had a calmness about her that told me, if the Lord didn't intervene she would not live. I was Moses when he couldn't hold his arms up anymore and the Lord sent His people to hold them up. I am eternally grateful for y'all. The story of how Jesus came to Jori is hers to tell. The story of her mommma and daddy praying and holding on until He got there is mine. These pictures sum it all up. I'm telling this in hopes that it will encourage someone to just hold on, JOY COMES IN THE MORNING!
Have you ever heard a story and thought "that will never happen to me!" I hope for your sake that you didn't actually say it. But if you did, hold on because you will hear those words over and over. At least that is what happened to me. I specifically remember that moment. A local gospel singing group was at our church. One of the ladies teared up and said "pray for my son. He is sitting in jail facing drug charges. And pray even harder for your own kids. If you think it can't happen, let me tell you something. He got started down this dark path right up the street at Vilonia High School." My heart hurt for her, but I distinctly remember thinking "I'm so glad I don't have to worry about that. My girls are at church every time the doors open." And we were. Fast forward about 4 years. Looking back, I see signs of what was coming. Jori, my baby, was becoming more independent and always seemed to have one foot over the line. A very compassionate and caring teacher had called me about a month earlier. He was worried about Jori. He was seeing changes in her that were not good. He told me he was praying for her. (Step 1 that I know the lord was carrying us). February 9, 2012 she crossed that line. She had completely lost sight of who she was and she tried to take her life. As I rode in the front of that ambulance, I remembered my exact prayer that morning. "Lord, I give her back to you. Take care of her and no matter what it takes, bring her to a relationship with you." She made the decision that she needed inpatient treatment. She went to Bridgeway for 5 days. As gut wrenching as that was, we knew she wasn't healed. The Lord knew...In September 2012, she failed a random drug test at school...meth. She was sent to jeuvenile detention. I couldn't call her. All we could was pray. Again, He was faithful. The officer prayed with her. The next 3 years were up and down. Every single day I said "she belongs to you Lord". I'm going to be honest, it was a long time before I could pray "whatever it takes". It is still hard and I know how this turns out. I clung to lucid happy moments. I cried and agonized when I knew she was getting high. I begged and pleaded with God to deliver her. I read every book and blog about prodigal children that I could find. Through it all, the Lord sent people to lift us up and help carry the burden. I journaled every prayer and every victory and setback. I clung to Jeremiah 31:15-18. I knew she would be delivered, I just didn't know how or when. January 1,2016 at 4:20 am she started on the road to deliverance. That road began in the Faulkner County Jail with drug charges. I heard my singing friend saying "pray." I couldn't pray. I was numb and terrified. She had a calmness about her that told me, if the Lord didn't intervene she would not live. I was Moses when he couldn't hold his arms up anymore and the Lord sent His people to hold them up. I am eternally grateful for y'all. The story of how Jesus came to Jori is hers to tell. The story of her mommma and daddy praying and holding on until He got there is mine. These pictures sum it all up. I'm telling this in hopes that it will encourage someone to just hold on, JOY COMES IN THE MORNING!
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