Random thoughts of a momma

There are so many things just flying though my head. It kind of reminds me of one of those old school video games, lights and pings going all over. Today is the funeral of a young man that I only knew through his job at Fred's. Why cant I get him off my heart? Maybe because I say that I will miss seeing him. Or could it be regrets that once again I am left to wonder "did I do all that I could/should have to reach out to him". Or is it empathy for his parents who have to go on without him? Maybe I am scared that one day that will be me...Have I REALLY shown my people how much I love them? Or am I so busy worrying and stressing that I forget to embrace each moment of every day? I always have such great intentions, but I have trouble actually following through. Anyone else feel that way? I want to do great things, but some days I just get through. I want to have a "bucket list". Sometimes getting to the end of the day is enough. But I want more! I want more time, more motivation, less fear of failure. So many things I wish I could do over...regrets. But you know what? Today is a brand new day! I am alive, I am a daughter of the King, my family is safe, I have my home, I have a job that I love and by golly I am going to make the most of this! Lamentations 3:22-24 New Living Translation (NLT) 22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends![a] His mercies never cease. 23 Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. 24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” He is true to His promises. I WILL hold on to that secret promise He has given me. Waiting and watching...

I've been thinking about the Soaring Wings Half Marathon a lot. I have asked myself "why in the world do you think a fat, 50 year old woman who has NEVER done anything sporty. would be able to suddenly do a half marathon?!?" Well, here is why. It is something that I have actually wanted to do for a very long time. But, I am notorious for "wanting" to do something and when it actually comes down to it, I'm like "Eeeh I would rather just sit here and creep around on Facebook". Just being honest here. My "running career" started back in 1980 when I was actually in pretty good shape. I decided to run to my BFF's house about 3 miles away. I was going to say it was 13.1 miles away, but then I remembered the honest comment. :) About half way there I was chased by dang dogs! Not to mention that the road from my house to hers wasn't paved yet. I make it to her house and minor detail, I forgot to tell her I was coming so she was just leaving. I'm pretty sure it was a hot date, because remember this was 1980 and we were HOTTIES! Well, what's a girl to do? I turned around and headed back to my house. Remember that dirt road? I was running along minding my own business and I see this guy coming towards me. Woo Hoo another crazy person running in the middle of nowhere in the crazy Texas summer heat! When he was about 100 yards from me, something hits my head. I look up and it is a psycho blue jay dive bombing me! I start screaming (a perfectly normal reaction by any 17 year old girl) and flailing my arms. The darn thing wont leave me alone! I end up rolling around in the ditch trying to get away from this demon possessed bird. When I finally got myself together and crawled back to the road, here comes the other runner. And of course he never saw that spawn of satan bird. Just gave me one of "those" looks. So, yea that was the beginning and end of my running career. I haven't really wanted to do any running/walking since then. But then I met John Allison. What an inspiration! But the real clincher was when he showed the 121 students the Marine Corp Marathon medal. OMG I had medal envy! But that's all it was, envy. No action. But that medal has been in the back of my mind for a couple of years. Fast forward to Faulkner County Relay for Life. For a donation to American Cancer Society I could walk 29 laps around the expo center and GET A MEDAL!!! Woo Hoo, sign me up I said. And I did it in flip flops. And I met another very wise and kind person Jackie Pollard. She didn't know me from Adam. What she should have seen was a fat almost 50 year old woman, but what she actually saw was potential. Sometimes it takes the kind words of a stranger to get you moving! So here I am. I have been thinking about this medal obsession a lot. How many of us are willing to work so hard for rewards and medals here on earth, but hardly give a second thought to Heavenly rewards? Before anyone corrects me, I KNOW it isn't all about the jewels and crowns, but I really want to be able to lay my crown/medal at the feet of Jesus. So, see this half marathon is about way more than just running/walking and the medals. In my heart it is even more than the money and awareness raised for Soaring Wings (which is HUGE). It's about doing something just because someone believed in me. All of life should be that way, after all, our Father believed in us enough to send His Son to die for me. So, that is all I have to say about that.

TA DA!!! Two blogs in less than 2 weeks! Yep, I am on a roll...Part of what I have loved about this Thanksgiving break is mindless TV watching. I am one of  those people who likes to have the TV on for the noise and then somehow get sucked into watching whatever it is on. When the girls were younger it usually culminated in a "Cat/Dog" or "Gulla Gulla Island" marathon. Now that they are grown and Sam is usually in charge of the remote I have been known to watch an ENTIRE golf tournament! Or every NFL football game on that weekend. OK, I use the term "watch" rather loosely...I admit quite a few naps have occurred.
And that is exactly what happened on Saturday as I was STILL recovering from the 13 hour Black Friday Shopping Extravaganza. This time I was completely taken in by "Boy Meets World". I remember watching this when it was on network TV. So obviously I know how the story goes. But when Cory broke Topanga's heart with that Snow Bunny Lauren, I found myself feeling so bad for Topanga. I may or may not have even voiced my aggravation with Cory...at which time daughter #1, being the smart college kid that she is very gently reminded me that they work it out because they end up married!
I find myself doing that with real life to. I know that the struggles of this world are temporary. I find myself doubting if God is really in control of a particular situation. I worry and stress myself out and try to handle things on my own. But the minute I turn to Him I know His peace and assurance. The situation may not look any different on the outside, but I am different because I KNOW HOW THE STORY ENDS!

John 16:33 

³³ I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

I seem to have a love/hate relationship with change...I LOVE new beginnings but I HATE change. How can this be? I am one of "those" people who actually don't mind Monday mornings. It's a brand new week! I am always full of ideas and plans on Monday...new diet, run a marathon or at least a half, clean house. And now for anyone that knows me very well, you know these things have yet to happen! Although, I did have the honor of being a cheerleader for The Soaring Wings 1/2 Marathon. And what an incredible blessing that was! But I will share that another time. Did I mention that I seem to have trouble staying on task lately? Oh look, pretty flower...OK back to change and new beginnings. Change is hard, it usually means that something we are comfortable with will be no more. I have to remind myself that not all change is bad. It may be painful and scary at first, but the times I have allowed the Lord to guide me and show me what it is that He is accomplishing prove that the "new" is just as beautiful if not more so than the beginning. What if I had somehow frozen time when the girls and Sam and I were so young? Then I would never know the amazing young women that Jana Lee and Jori have become. And I wouldn't know what it is to spend almost half my life with a man that loves more me today than he did the day we married. So, maybe I will work on decreasing the "hate" part of change. :)
HAPPY MONDAY!!!

Lamentations 3:22-24

New Living Translation (NLT)

²² The faithful love of the Lord never ends!^[a]
    His mercies never cease.
²³ Great is his faithfulness;
    his mercies begin afresh each morning.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
    therefore, I will hope in him!”

From the eyes of Lil P!

Meet Lil P! She is our precious Brussels Griffon. And she is somewhat of a diva. But she is also a tool of the Lord. Yesterday we had our first snow of the year (YUCK!). When your belly is only 4 inches from the ground, three inches of snow can present a real problem! Lil P needed to go outside to take care of business. She is so happy when she wakes up in the morning. Prancing around excited to see what new smells had been deposited overnight. I knew the snow was going to be shock to her little system! I opened the door and she RAN as fast as she could to go out. SCREEEEEECH! Put on the brakes and back it up. She took one look at the snow covered porch and said "No way am I going out there! Are you kidding me?!?" What she couldn't see was that the snow was only on the porch and grass. There were plenty of snowless places. So, I picked her up and carried to a clear spot. When she was done she looked at me like "thank you Mom, wanna carry me back in where it is warm now?" I could have stayed inside where it was warm and dry and made her tromp through the snow to the dry spot, but instead I picked her up and showed her where to go. She didn't want to go, even with me carrying her. But I could see the big picture and knew that she would be safe in my arms from the dreaded wet cold. How many times do we do that with the Father? All we see is the stress, heartache, and dreariness? When all we have to do is let Him carry us? We tromp through all the yuckiness of life and sometimes we find the dry spot, but if we would only look to Him our bellies would stay dry. Just some thoughts from Lil P.